Let Me Protect Her
by Sol en la Noche
Summary: A time turner romance about Hermione and Severus. From this time forward, he will do anything to protect her.
1. Let me protect her

Disclaimer: I love you J. K. Rowling! Don't sue me or steal my underwear! I haven't stolen your characters, merely borrowed them for an undeterminable amount of time. He he he…

So here we go!

Title: Let Me Protect Her

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Another year, and yet another Sorting Ceremony.

Damn it.

I stare at the new first-years, every one of them looks as incompetent as all the other first-years before them. I'm positive there will be an accident the first day. Fuck, I despise my life.

You see, I am the dreaded Potions Master – vampire, greasy git, the-giver-of-detention. Even the more accomplished seventh years tremble underneath my poisonous glare.

I don't know what happened. Dear listener, I wasn't always this despised. Once, I was loved. Before this hated mark on my wrist, I loved and cared and cherished a woman more remarkable than any other. She was my best friend and my confidant, even once she was my lover.

As an intellectual, I had never believed in true love. True love was a glittering concept for the masses unwilling to admit the solitude of existence. I was a cynic until I met her. She literally fell into my lap one day. Actually, onto my back… A rather painful and unromantic experience if I recall correctly.

A transfer student from Beauxbatons. She was lovely, intelligent. But even more important, she liked me and respected me. She listened to me and conversed with me on an intellectual level. She insulted me with her quick wit and smiled at me with her gentle eyes. I loved her. I would have given my life for her.

Instead, I gave my soul for her.

The day following graduation she was kid-napped by the Dark Lord. She was a muggle-born, sweet and intelligent, which meant for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that she had to die. I begged Dumbledore to go after her, I pleaded on my knees to any god who would save her. Please… save her.

But, no one knew the bastard's location. Not a single soul knew where she was. She could have been dead. She could have been… gods I don't want to think of what they could have done to her. So that night I found Lucius. I told him how I despised mudbloods, how I wanted to fuck their women and pull the throats from their infants. I told him I wanted to join Voldemort's ranks. 'Make me a Deatheater,' I said to him.

So he did. The Dark Lord burned his mark into me that very night. I asked what they had done to the mudblood bitch, but no one told me. Lucius had never seen her.

I couldn't find her body, a piece of her hair. Not even the smug smirk of a tormentor. I searched for years. She had never been here.

She was gone. Disappeared.

I was a Deatheater.

I went to Dumbledore. The fruity idiot forgave me. And reader, you know the rest.

Here I am, Severus Snape. Ex-Deatheater. Spy for the Order of the Phoenix. A fucking lonely bastard.

I still love her. I waited for years, hoping the tension in my chest would fade, maybe my heart would forget her beauty and spirit. It never happened. I can't forget her. I can't ever love another.

Voldemort never tainted my soul, he never stole it. He never had the chance. The moment she left, my soul went with her. I have been dead these past fifteen years.

McGonagall has started the Sorting Ceremony. Fuck I hate this shit.

"Abbott, Hannah!"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Boot, Terry!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Finch-Fletchly, Justin"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Granger, Hermione…"

What?

"Gryffindor!"

I look up. There she is. Her hair is a little more busy than curly. She is smaller. Younger. There she is. Hermione. My Mione.

She is the child-replica of my lover. Did Mione have a daughter? Why would she bear the same name…

Why…

Sudden realization crosses my mind. With the question urgently shining in my eyes I turn to Dumbledore.

He looks at me and a single word is whispered from his lips.

"Yes."

Yes. Yes. Yes a thousand times. She never died. She is here. A time-turner can be the only explanation. Our time together was a mistake. She really belongs here, now. She was never raped or brutalized. She didn't die alone and miserable. She didn't abandon me for another. She is safe.

I look at her among the other gryffindors, she is happy. I can see the unquenchable hunger for knowledge in her eyes. Her kindness.

Listener, I know you think I am a pervert. A fumbling, greasy old man. But no lustful though come to my mind. No plans of manipulation.

I have only one wish. Only one desire for all of eternity.

Let me protect her. Let me watch over her.

When she comes across trouble, as I know she will, let me save her. When she is dying and sick, let me find the cure. When she falls in love with a young man, let me protect her from a broken heart. When war comes, let me sacrifice my life for her. Never let her suffer. Never let her disappear again. Let me protect her happiness and her life.

I close my eyes, the Sorting ceremony is over. The student's file out of the hall, eagerly awaiting the moment they can truly catch up with their companions in the dorms. I start to leave and Dumbledore stops me.

"Severus, it wasn't a mistake."

"Excuse me?"

"It was a miracle."

I scoff audibly at him. "Save your doddering comments for someone else Headmaster."

The old fool leaves, not without giving me some rather annoying speculative glances.

I can finally breathe.

She was brought back my soul to me, she has protected it without even having existed.

Now please, let me protect her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it my little ditty! Please leave a review in the box ( or a twenty) . Just to let ya'll know, I re-submitted this fic because of a few typos and its funky format.

Thank you again!

-Sol en la Noche


	2. I love her still

Disclaimer: All characters and possibly one-quarter of the world belong to J.K. Rowling. I haven't stolen the characters, merely borrowed them for an undeterminable amount of time.

He he he…

I didn't think I would continue this, as I really liked it as just a short ficlet. But the idea of a continuation just came up on me a few days ago. I don't know how long this will be, but I hope you like it.

Title: Let Me Protect Her: Part 2

* * *

That evil bastard Quirrel let the troll in. I ran down the hallways, up the stairs, and through the many corridors to reach the chamber containing the Sorcerer's stone. I had thought to battle with Quirrel, but met instead with a behemoth of a dog. I dodged and scrambled, rather un-coordinately, out of the Cerberus's teeth, but its damn left mouth snagged my leg. Painfully, I scoot backwards toward the door and out. Composing myself outside of that blasted flea ridden room, I stood and waited for any signs that Quirrel would be headed my way, but none. No one was in any of the nearby corridors. Minerva or Albus must have distracted him in time. I doubt the Dark Lord's minions realized the capability of the school's professors in handling some piddling troll; after all, they handle the Weasley boys on a daily basis. I started down the hallway, but each step sends shooting pains up my leg. Stumbling, I crotch to the ground momentarily waiting for the throbbing to slow and steady enough to walk. Bloody dog must have snapped a tendon.

"Severus" Minerva's rapt voice cuts through the air, "Three students are unaccounted for- where have you been?"

I ignore her question and answer her with one of my own, "Which students?"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Miss Granger."

While the first two names did not in the least surprise me, Gryffindor dunderheads usually run casually into danger, the last made my breath hitch and heartbeat race in frantic worry. I sped past the elder professor and made my way through the castle in search of Hermione. I ignored the pains in my leg; they were noting compared to those in my heart.

Later we found them in that godforsaken wash room. She cowered under the sinks. Water clung to her hair and cheeks, droplets dripping from her eyelashes as she blinked in nervousness and the aftermath of her terrifying troll encounter. Looking into her eyes, my heart almost stopped. Her eyes are the same: joyous, nervous, kind, wise, beautiful, so beautiful. For a moment longing so powerful and immense for the Hermione of the past shakes my core. But I push it away.

I try to pursue more fatherly feelings for the Hermione of now. I longed to stroke her hair, and caress the worry from her face. Perhaps after a quick trip to the infirmary, I could make her a cup of hot chocolate. Give her a comforting talk in the kitchens amidst the bustling house elves.

During my brief reverie Potter noticed my bleeding leg. I quickly covered the wound and shot him a scathing glare. I would not be going down to the kitchens this night for hot cocoa or any other night. I am Snape, the Bat of the Dungeons, the Greasy Git. If she needs comfort she can go seek out Minerva, who is right to give it to her.

I do not look back at her soft brave eyes even as she lies to Minerva. Weakness is a sin, especially when the Dark Lord has returned. I stalk out of the room and into the dungeons ignoring the pain in my leg, the pounding of my heart, the beating in my temples, and boiling hatred of myself.

I had not been the one to protect her. Where had I been when she trembled beneath the sinks? I want to beat myself, to throw myself against a wall, off a cliff, in the lake. But most of all I want to kiss her, to wrap my arms around the Hermione of the past. I see her every time I look in her child-self's eyes.

I ignore these feelings the next day as I look at her laughing with Potter and Weasley. I shall endeavor to acquaint my self with the feeling of loneliness again.

I am not hers. She is not mine. Next time, I will not look into her eyes.

* * *

'She is muggle-born,' I hatefully reminded myself for the twentieth time today. Why had I not seen this coming? I restlessly move books around, not caring if I ruin the spines. I reread passages over and over again hoping, praying to find something which would help her.

If she hadn't had that mirror… I wish Pomona would get those damn roots ready. I pick up another book and glance through it even though I've already done so many times today. Each sentence, word, then letter blurs into each other as my eyes droop. How long have I been here keeping vigil over her? No long enough, I should have been with her every moment we learned of the basilisk. It is my fault she is petrified, it would be my fault if… if she hadn't had that mirror. My fingers close around a tendril of her hair as exhaustion finally claims my body. Murmuring her name, I fall asleep.

_She is kissing my ear and chest and lips. I am kissing her back. _

"_Hermione" I whisper and moan at the same time. _

_Our bodies are intertwined, like they were meant to be, like I have longed for them to be. She whispers sweet love words to me, tickling my ear with her breathy caresses. _

"_I miss you" I tell her. She just laughs and holds me. _

_We hold, touch, caress, and love as if making up a lifetime of it in this one moment. What I would give for a forever of this moment_.

Slowly she blurs out of my vision. I am waking up. _Hermione_ I reach for her, my mind begging for more sleep, more unconscious bliss. _I love you_, I plead. But reality pulls me from her arms. In my sleep, my hand had wandered to this Hermione's hair, caressing its curls. Such lovely, rare beauty I see in her.

Bile rises to my throat. Pervert, I tell myself. I hate myself for loving you now.

Bitterly I lay my head in the sheets next to her and weep.

Your eyes blankly stare at the whitewashed ceiling of the infirmary. I love them still.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review in the box (or a twenty?).

Much love,

Sol en la Noche


	3. In the end

Disclaimer: All characters and possibly one-quarter of the world belong to J.K. Rowling. I haven't stolen the characters, merely borrowed them for an undeterminable amount of time.

He he he…

This is end. (SOB!)

Just to let ya'll know this is totally A/U. So erase those expectation, thank you very much!

Title: Let Me Protect Her: Part 3

In the End...

* * *

Dear Reader, I stood before her placing myself in harm's way. I faced my childhood fear for her safety and she turned against me! I would tell you of my anguish, but reader, you know enough of me to understand this pain.

I fear now that she will never recognize me for the man that I am. I cannot live like this. I cannot go on.

Forgive me Reader, but if I cannot have her love, what in this world is worth having?

* * *

She is beautiful, even in his arms. She smiles wildly, so sure of her allure as a woman now. I do not understand how I can watch her with another man and still feel this happiness in my heart. Perhaps it has become enough.

Yes, it is enough just to see her happy.

* * *

Those idiotic brats! Running off to the ministry without a by your leave. She could have... she could have... Gorges mar the wall where I flung phials and gods know what at it in rage. This war is pressing down on me, demands from the Dark Lord grow harder to cope with, and all she can do is run off into danger!

The worst part is, reader, I wasn't there to protect her. What meaning does my life have without that? I may serve two masters, but my only loyalty is to her.

I continue. That is all I can do.

* * *

Albus has asked me to do a horrible thing. I can't. When I look at her face I know I can't do it. She would never love me again.

* * *

As she sits in my DADA class, a sweet thought occurs to me. Our love will be reunited soon. She has grown into her beauty, she looks just like she did when we first met.

I wonder how it will happen? Will she fall back in time as of a result of an ill-placed hex? One of Neville's potions gone wrong?

It doesn't matter. She will disappear from this present and into my past. And then, Reader, the gladdest of days will come when she returns. The sun shines too brightly today to doubt she will love me again in this time. I only have to wait.

Gruffly, I dismiss class. Only a few seconds have passed before I hear the beginnings of an altercation outside the classroom door. Damn Potter.

Just as I suspected, Potter and Malfoy have gotten into a scuffle. She is by his side, loyal. I sneer, my petty jealousy building inside.

I intervene and gladly take 50 points from Gryffindor. Barking reprimands, the students scatter. It was only after they left that I realized Malfoy had followed her instead of returning to his common room as I had ordered.

I run. Whatever he has in plan for her I must protect her from it. I must protect her!

I arrive just in time to catch her as a hex from Malfoy sends her reeling off the top of a staircase.

As I pull her to her feet she smiles sweetly at me.

"Ris, Ouy knaht."

"Miss Granger, kindly stop such nonsense."

"Ris, tahw?"

A reversal hex, I realize. I _Finite Incantatem _her_._

Then the shock, horror, nausea grip me. I gasp and she looks at me as if I have lost my mind. I have lost something much worse.

"Sir?" she questions not realizing the importance of this moment. The tragedy and the agony that I will now feel forever. Don't look at me! Don't look at me with those eyes! I push her aside and run to my quarters.

In my zeal to protect her from everything I have protected her from the one thing that has ever brought me happiness in this life. It was the combination of the trauma caused by the brutal fall from the staircase with the reversal hex Malfoy used that sent her back in time. That sent her to me.

Nothing. Never. These are words that plaque my life now. I will never... She will never... I have nothing. The pressure in my chest has become too much now, I bend over wheezing. Tears I didn't know I was shedding fall uselessly to the ground.

There is knock at the door. I look up, it seems so surreal in this atmosphere of despair. I don't answer.

The door opens anyways and in comes Albus.

"Severus, I have come to plead with you again. Think of the boy, there is nothing you can do for me... Think of these children. We must win this war for them."

I have, I thought bitterly. I thought too much and I overplayed my role, and because of it I have nothing now.

I wave him away.

"I will do it," I gasp hopelessly.

My acquiesce shocks him.

"Severus, Severus my boy! Is there something wrong?"

"Just leave"

To my amazement, he does. Glad that I have finally conceded. I think to myself that I have not conceded, just simply acknowledged that this is the only course my life can run now. There will be no days filled with sunshine and laughter. She will never love me and it is only my memories which anguish me now.

"Hermione..." I whisper. A sob escapes my mouth.

I straiten my shoulders, push my emotions away. Reader, I have only one mission now.

To kill Albus Dumbledore.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading!

Leave a comment in the box or a twenty...


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